Bedtime Conversations

We just said good bye to our second group of guests from Couch Surfing.  I love it!  I love sharing stories.  They're so nice and appreciative.  They get extra points for enjoying my lasagna!  Well, AllRecipes.com really deserves the credit.  But it still made me beam with pride.  The two guys are taking a semester off and biking/riding trains throughout the states to check out USA's infrastructural landscape.  I think this is sort of a project for them while having tons of fun.  They are landscape architecture students at Ball State (Indiana).  The young lady with them is a law student (graduating in May) at Indiana University and the sister of the tall dude at the end.  She left her husband at home to hang out with her brother for her final spring break.  They actually passed the Canadians that stayed at our place earlier in the week and briefly spoke with them!  Check out their website/blog at http://www.cyclinginfrastructure.com/. These folks are on their way to Santa Barbara while we find a hike to do today.  Hiking!  Finally!

Lastnight, our guests, being exhausted bikers, went to bed earlier than we were ready for.  So, we watched a couple of The Office episodes on my laptop and turned out the light to sleep.  No matter how tired I was, I just could not shut up.  We were chatterboxes and we must've said "Goodnight!" a billion times before starting new conversations.  It was  really nice to feel like we sort of needed time to reconnect and reflect on our day and talk about whatever came upon our minds.  We laughed and cuddled and stared at the dark ceiling.  Perfect.  Then I realized how silly I was for wondering how much our new marriage was really working.

You see, I am completely in love with this crazy man in my life who serves as my husband, best friend and let's not forget the role of the unbearingly annoying brother I was never lucky to have.  And I'm sure he loves me just as much.  But when we go to a friend's house for dinner or read other friends' blogs, I often find myself feeling a little jealous of their vibrant relationships with their husbands and how much love they're clearly getting in return.  What am I doing wrong?  Why can't we be extremely happy and never bicker?  But really, we already have what they have or more.  I mean, who really lets their complete guard down and argues with their spouse in front of everyone?  I mean, their kids might see it, but not everyone else.  No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors unless they're invited in.  And who wants to tell everyone via blog that they are just so fed up with their significant other?  Needless to say, we came to the conclusion that we are perfectly normal.  And it's not like we fight all the time.  I'd say we get on each other's nerves once a week or less.  Hmmm, a good, healthy amount?  If we didn't bicker every now and then, would we really know what happiness is?  Would we really be able to fully enjoy each other's company?  I think not.  And besides, our little disagreements make us realize that we're unique and special and not exact clones of each other.  Knowing that I can voice my own opinions rather than being a robot and always agreeing with him makes me happy.  I think happy couples are only at least happy in at least 99% of their time together.  No?  Well, I'm not good with numbers.  We can agree to disagree. 

Overall, I love being married to this kook.  Even when he's all decked out in snowflake pants and reindeer house slippers that light up with each step.  I love his weird style of dancing, interest in music and many passions.  I love that I can be the weirdest person with him without worrying what other people think.  I love that he cuddles me when I get in bed to warm up my ice-cold body.  Really, at 70 degrees, the apartment is freezing!  He makes me smile and laugh and fills me with all the warmest fuzzies in the world.  We teach each other things almost daily, and we're both better for it.  I realize we haven't been married for long at all, but so far, I wouldn't go back and change anything if I could-- even the ocassional arguments.  I'm excited for the unknown future.  And this usually scares me.  But, over the years, God has helped me to open up and let go.  Sometimes I just have such a hard time when I feel like I'm lacking control.  But I guess in marriage, you have to learn how to be willing to give up your controlling attitude.  You have to be willing to give a whole lot and take much less.  And, as with my relationship with God, when I give my all, I often end up feeling like I'm left with a lot more in return. 

I enjoy bedtime.